I heard this term the other night when I was watching Dr. Phil (something I hardly ever do ironically enough). He was discussing the roles of mothers: working outside the home versus remaining at home to only raise the children. He said that because of the way things are going, there are now "economoms" who are forced to go back to work because the fathers aren't working anymore. I feel that I have always been supportive of the overall feeling "whatever is best for you and your family." I can't make a decision for other people to say they should go to work to make a better living for their family or to stay home to nurture their children. I still feel that way. However, I can see how my own personal emotions toward being a working mom has changed.
After I got laid off, I went through a depression, partially brought on by pregnancy hormones. I ALWAYS saw myself as a working mom. Part time preferably, but definitely someone with an outlet. However, I found a way to fill my time until I got so pregnant I couldn't do much anyway. Then after Kaleb was born, I realized just how much I want to be a stay-at-home mom and not work outside of the home. I basically refused all offers and opportunities for work until I went into Brilliant Sky, the toy store I now work for. Ammon and I had a great feeling about me going back to work part time. However, since I have gone back to work, I feel myself torn. I really enjoy my work and I'm good at it and I feel a renewed sense of belonging and community. BUT every time I have to say goodbye to my adorable baby, who is always in GREAT hands, I am close to tears. I miss him so much! If the store does well during the holidays, it will stay open permanently and I know my manager would keep me on if that's the case. Financially, I'm still receiving unemployment so working right now is basically just extending my unemployment, not bringing in extra money. I don't plan on quitting and overall I am comfortable with my decision, but I wanted to get everybody's input on being a working mom or stay-at-home mom and pluses or minuses or how they "deal" with it. Then maybe I won't feel like such an "economom" who is forced to work. What do you think?
4 comments:
Exactly like you said, every situation is different. I am all for working mom's if its what you need to do to support your family. And Kaleb is in EXCELLENT hands!! I think its awesome you are able to work, to help your family in this difficult time. And remember the comment that Dr Phil said on that episode, working mom's spend 80% more time with their kids than stay at home moms. So even though you are working, Kaleb still knows that you are are his mommy, and he still loves you just as much. You guys are so blessed to be able to have you work, even if it is part time, in this difficult economy. I say you go girl!! There is nothing wrong with working mom's, if its to benefit your family. In my opinion, if you are working to SUPPORT your family, and not just working for all the "pleasure things" then your heart is in the right place. Love you girl!!
And give Ammon a big hug for going to work. Especially such hard work. He is a great husband and father!! You are very lucky!
Growing up, I always wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, then realized during maternity leave with Mark that I couldn't handle it. That's what prompted me to go back to school, get my degree, and work to support our family.
Initially, our plan was to switch roles - Eric would stay home and I would work - we were working toward that goal when I was laid off in January. For six months I was out of work and able to be a stay-at-home mom ... this time to two children. I grew to love it when I realized I could plan activities we could do together, work on projects around the house, etc.
Eric and I both had a feeling during that time that I wouldn't find another job until I learned to truly enjoy motherhood (previously, it was something I liked once in awhile, but didn't really find joy in). We now feel the reason for that was because now that I'm teaching, I'll be home with the kids during holidays and summertime (it works out to a little less than half a year). So now I get the best of both worlds.
I think you've hit a good balance - working part time - leave your children to go to work if you must, but spend as much time as you possibly can with them.
My $0.02
Maria so badly wants to be a SAHM but right now it is not possible. I never thought I would be a SAHD and it has been quite an adventure. We are working hard to reverse the roles we play but the economy is not making it very easy to do that. When Maria strugles at work I remind her that she is not working for the money - she is working to support Davis and I. That helps her to put things in perspective, just like "Garrett's Mom" said - as long as you are not working to afford the luxury items I think it is cool for a mom to work to support her family. Mothers are amazing at being able to step up to the plate when needed - I am sure you will and are making the right decisions.
Jake
You are great! Ammon and you are fabulous parents who are doing what is best for your family. There should be no guilt associated with that.
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