"Economom"

I heard this term the other night when I was watching Dr. Phil (something I hardly ever do ironically enough). He was discussing the roles of mothers: working outside the home versus remaining at home to only raise the children. He said that because of the way things are going, there are now "economoms" who are forced to go back to work because the fathers aren't working anymore. I feel that I have always been supportive of the overall feeling "whatever is best for you and your family." I can't make a decision for other people to say they should go to work to make a better living for their family or to stay home to nurture their children. I still feel that way. However, I can see how my own personal emotions toward being a working mom has changed.

After I got laid off, I went through a depression, partially brought on by pregnancy hormones. I ALWAYS saw myself as a working mom. Part time preferably, but definitely someone with an outlet. However, I found a way to fill my time until I got so pregnant I couldn't do much anyway. Then after Kaleb was born, I realized just how much I want to be a stay-at-home mom and not work outside of the home. I basically refused all offers and opportunities for work until I went into Brilliant Sky, the toy store I now work for. Ammon and I had a great feeling about me going back to work part time. However, since I have gone back to work, I feel myself torn. I really enjoy my work and I'm good at it and I feel a renewed sense of belonging and community. BUT every time I have to say goodbye to my adorable baby, who is always in GREAT hands, I am close to tears. I miss him so much! If the store does well during the holidays, it will stay open permanently and I know my manager would keep me on if that's the case. Financially, I'm still receiving unemployment so working right now is basically just extending my unemployment, not bringing in extra money. I don't plan on quitting and overall I am comfortable with my decision, but I wanted to get everybody's input on being a working mom or stay-at-home mom and pluses or minuses or how they "deal" with it. Then maybe I won't feel like such an "economom" who is forced to work. What do you think?

So Far Away...

Now you'll have that song stuck in your head for the rest of the day... Mwahahahaha. Anyway, Ammon left this morning for the Navajo Reservation to do some concrete work. He is going to be back on Friday, then gone again on Monday for another week. I can't say that I am thrilled at the prospect of being alone for five whole days, but at least I have a ton of friends and family nearby and my cute little Kaleb to always keep me company. I'm more scared for Ammon since the reason he quit doing concrete work was because it absolutely killed his lower back. On friday, he did a job for the same company down in Tucson. They picked him up at 3am and he was back at 3pm, in bed at 6pm and didn't get back up till 8am. That's gonna give you an idea of how tough the work is. I'm so proud of him though. It's something he REALLY didn't wanna do, but because it's a bit of extra money, my sweety is making the sacrifice. Plus he has been so focused and humble in trying to find a job... any job, and being a terrific Mr. Mom while I'm off working. My husband aint perfect, but he is awesome, so I just wanted to take a moment to brag!